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Last one. [24 Jun 2009|09:44pm]
Soo...yeah. This is the last entry in here. I have a facebook account and most if not all of you should be able to find me on it. My user name is KuroRyu. I really haven't been keeping up with lj now so i'm going to abandon it. So long to all that don't use and or won't use facebook. It's been fun.
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Hello [08 May 2009|06:13am]
Hey everyone. It's been a bit.

So, I'm engaged again. Isn't that wonderful. I'm at a very happy state of life right now because of it. We are planning our first vacation for sometime in Sept/Oct. Going to The mall of america theme park. I'll update more when i get home....if i remember.
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Nibbit [15 Feb 2009|06:13pm]
Oh hey, and update. Yeah, not even sure people read this anymore but meh, Someone might still.

So first thing:

My job transferred me to a hospital. Apparently, i wasn't good enough to work for accountants. Well, at least i wasn't according to the accountants. So i deliver blood samples and other various samples all over the Hospital campus. I've currently learned a few things about hospital life:
Doctors have really horrible personalities.
The surgery prep team is disgruntled in almost every way.
If i had a dollar every time someone was lost in the hospital, i'd be a millionaire.
Lab techs can be the absolute devil, or absolutely saints.

Second thing. Love life is going very well.

Just had valentines day and although we didn't go anywhere, we enjoyed ourselves. Didn't get each other anything extravagant, but that's mostly because we are generally satisfied with each other and aren't really materialistic. Plus an anime convention will be going on in a month for her and i knew should would need to save some money for it. Haven't really worked in photoshop much recently. I have been trying to gather a lot of real life poses from women models. I'm going to try and draw many different poses to familiarize myself with the female body in drawing. I've already got 2 characters i want to just make many pics of. I did put a new picture that i was working on up on my deviant account of Ten-no-ryu-kazuma. That's about it.
|3 Posted //post comment

[18 Nov 2008|02:51pm]

visited 19 states (38%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or try another Douwe Osinga project

Ah the states i've been to. Some of them feel like such a waste of time. But some of them were great memories that i wouldn't trade. Then there are the missed oppertunities that i wish i could have gotten back. *sheds a tear*

Lets run through the memories:

Where i guess i would start at, seeing as there i was born. Not much to remember about it though.
New York:
Ah the big city of dreams, but everything in new york isn't always what is seems....Ok enough snoop dog. Great city. Even with all the crime and crowds. And the state is also beautiful with the mountains.
Meh, Midwest passive aggressive state at it's finest. Everyone there is always out to prove how tough they are.
Visited Grand rapids during a trip to see the family on my moms side. Love the cold and the snow in that place.
Those 2 were a visit to the family on my dad's side. SUPER hot. And the water doesn't always look drinkable. The name of the city we were at in ol Miss...2 below.
Went there on a summer vacation trip to a theme park, which currently i can't remember the name of. lol. It was a bad trip for me though. My spoiled brat cousin got me in trouble the entire trip.
One of my aunts used to live in LA and we visited them occasionally. Went on a road trip there one summer up to Sanfran just to see it. Beautiful city.
Went to dallas for a family reunion on the mom's side. HOT.....
Ah the begining of my own trek through life. Arkansas was a state i had to live in for 2 years as part of a deal to transfer to any city i wanted to afterward.
North Carolina:
Ah Nichole. I went to fayetteville(sp?) to see a girl i had met through online forums and webcam talk. Wow i was so hopelessly looking for someone at that time. Of course, this was about a year after i had come to terms with my fiancee's death. So i guess that was kind of natural but yeah. Wonder what ever happened to her.
Pretty sure i spelled that wrong lol. That was the first place i decided to try with the company after my time was up in arkansas. I met a great christian guy there that i befriended immediately, but other than that, I feel like it was one of those spots of squandered oppertunity. i spend so much time trying to find "the one" that didn't really enjoy myself there. I also couldn't get used to the Boston mindset.
Connecticut, Rhode Island:
Both of those states was mostly visiting girls i had met at cons. Nothing ever really came of seeing either, obviously.
What posessed me to go here. There's absolutely nothing in that state. I swear i was out of my mind for a minute.
Maryland was my next work transfer state. That's where i met the first "group" of friends i have had.
Well, that first group of friends needed a roomate and i was the lucky one. Ah fun times tormenting a Pug, and life with a drama queen type guy. He's cool, but crazy.
Saw a job oppertunity in washington with a rival company that paid more so i jumped on it. Didn't get the job initially, but i have the job now so things are ok.
It was crazy. I went to Oregon to visit a girl i had met at a conviention. I got there, and didn't feel like she wanted to see me at all. I was like..."what did i spend the money for then?!" I still talk to her and we are cool. She's since apologized.

Where to next? Actually, one of the major regrets i have from moving away from arkansas was that i should have, at that time, taken courses at the community college which was right up the street from me. Maybe i would be in japan right now. I mean, i had to spend 2 years there so i should have done what i needed to do. I also wish i would have looked more into state taxes because i probably would have avoided Massachusetts altogether. State income tax is too high there. Virginia is also high, but not like Mass was.
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I am just a poor boy, nobody loves me... [11 Nov 2008|01:09pm]
Leave me a comment and I will reply with why I like you. If I don't know you, I'll either make something up or tell you why I like your LiveJournal. You must pay for the privilege by posting a message like this one on your LiveJournal.

Step One:
• Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 unlimited 8D holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

• If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

• Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post (it'll be public) so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two:
• Surf around your friendslist (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

• If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

• You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.

• There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

My 10 wishesCollapse )
|7 Posted //post comment

So....damn ....tired... [04 Nov 2008|04:36pm]
I can already tell i'm going to sleep like a baby tonight. Why can i tell? My boss called in sick today. So i had to do my work, and the work of the boss. Not a one man job by any means, but i had to do it anyway. I'll probably draw for about an hour, and just pass out for the rest of the night. Speaking of draw, i wonder why it is that i always seem to find the best hentai sites about a half an hour before i have to go to work? I can search half of the day long for hentai sites and good doujin sites and find nothing worth while, but when i'm pressed for time, i find all the good stuff.

It's almost time for me to head back to the midwest for thanksgiving. Meh, not really looking forward to it. It's always odd that i don't feel the closeness with my family that others do. I go more because i hate the constant nagging that i would get if i didn't show up, rather than because i want to see the family. My sister excluded from that of course. I do like seeing her.

Got accepted to community colleges here, just need to take the standardized tests to make sure i have college level math and english. I'll have to buy books on both of those and cram, cause yeah, i remember nothing. Well, except math, i remember most of that. My dreams in which i'm a samurai have increased lately. I wonder what that means? What are my dreams trying to tell me?
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OMG....LOLZ......4chan....ok 4chan had nothing to do with anything. [15 Oct 2008|09:13am]
[ mood | bored ]

How long has it been since i've been here? Stuff is happening in all my friends entries and i will be hard pressed to read it all. I'll do it though. If you would like to leave a comment with a summary of all the events in your life that have been happening that's cool too. If not....I'll try to read stuffs with extreme prejudice.

My life? Well, Things are moving along. I finally got around to building my monster compy. I couldn't emulate OSX on it though. Made me cry but oh well. I used the Vista Date roll back trick and things have been fine so far. I really wish there was more time in the day so i could do all the things i want to do in the day. Draw, play vidgames, watch anime. Speaking of anime, Romance comedy fans should watch Itazura na kiss. I think i spelled that right. Best situational drama/comedy i've watched since Kare kano.

Been in seattle for almost 2 years now. Wow how time flies. Wait...has it been 2 years? My sense of time is horrid honestly. Months feel like days and years feel like months. Replaying final fantasy 10 right now. Watched roomie play new megaman. Crazy ass game. I'm hoping all the "new playstation system" rumors are just those. It would really suck to have spent all that money on a PS3 just to have them release another system next year. The blue ray is nice, but blue ray hasn't really (and may never) caught on industry yet.

Can't believe i'll be 30 in 2 months. I'm halfway to death. No that's a joke. You don't get halfway dead when you are 30 (at least, i think you don't 0_o) Um...i'm just rambling now, so i'll stop.

|3 Posted //post comment

Jedi much? [27 Aug 2008|12:09pm]
What does your favorite "you" outfit consist of?

Favorite eh?

Blackcargo pants are my fave to wear. But they don't really make them like i remember. I used to wear them a lot. Hopefully, i'll be able to go find some more at the thrift store.
Black sweater hoodie. Can't beat the hoodie. It's just too strong. Black just makes it strong plus 20 DPS.
Black boots. Not that easy to run in, but meh, if i'm wearing my favorite outfit, i'm not going to be doing any running anyway.
Black hooded cloak. Yeah...it's a hooded cloak...it just oozes coolness.
A black skull cap. I prefer anime themed decals on it, but if it's just plain black that's good too.

Man....i wear a lot of black....>_>

So, I saw 2 movies recently. Tropical thunder (meh), And starwars (woot). Tropical thunder wasn't horrid, but i wasn't really enthused with it. I can't deny there were plenty of times it made me laugh but it was pretty stupid. 2 great lines though. Both came from iron man guy. "I know who i am! I'm a dude playin a dude pretendin to be another dude!" And "You never go full retarded."

Life hasn't been too eventful. I had been anticipating a hentai that came out last week and it was exactly what i wanted....all the way up until the halfway point. Then...i was sad. However, it once again proved to me that if i really want to see a good hentai, i need to make it myself. It's not a project that i'm going to be able to complete within a few days, or even a few months. Since i'll be drawing each individual frame of what may end up being an animation, it's going to take a while. I've even made sure i have the story. It features 2 characters i think are perfect for hentai. One of which from a non hentai background because....I'm doing so i'll do what i like. I doubt the entire thing will be animated though since one of the va's doesn't have enough projects so i can't get enough recorded MP3's made for it. And i absolutely hate using the same MP3' voices continually over and over again. I mean true, sex sounds are pretty limited in variety, but it's not the same moan 40 times. That's just stupid.

I know i've made this rant before, but american society is really fucked up. People are so judgmental and ignorant. It really saddens me. Most recently, i was having a discussion at work about a child molestation case brought to Michael Jackson. I'll admit that Mike didn't exercise the best judgment on the whole sleeping with kids thing, but that doesn't means he's instantly guilty of the charges brought against him. Am i saying he's innocent, no. However, i do think that if we have a system that says innocent until proven guilty, let the man be innocent until actually found guilty. "If you were in his place and, had the charges brought against you, you would want the benefit of the doubt. So why can't he get the same treatment from you?" at least, that's what i think to myself. I've learned to bite my tongue about these things and just keep working. Trying to preach to the masses brings you nothing but stress. I stopped a long time ago. It's like with fantasy's. Some people consider their fantasy to be either embarrassing or socially unacceptable thusly never mention it to anyone. To me, if you have a loli fetish, as long as it stays a fantasy, what could possibly be the problem with it? As long as you are healthy enough to be able to distinguish between reality and fiction, how could there be a problem? I don't get it.

I think i'm just being generally bitter toward things as of right now. My rent is going up, i'm probably not going to be able to enroll into school until next semester (winter) and in truth, i really just want to draw more. It's one of my truly totally relaxing outlets as of right now.
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[06 Aug 2008|03:20pm]
So, i've got the new computer pretty much built. Now i have 2 computers. One will be used for Running torrents, general interwebs browsing, and playing hentai games. The other will be used for watching anime, editing movies, and drawing in photoshop. I still need to buy a new hard drive and dvd burner to put in the computer though, so it's not fully done, but almost there.

On my way to otakon tommorrow. It's been a while since i've seen an otakon so I'm looking forward to this one. It will also be the first time i've went to a convention while having a girlfriend. Hopefully we can enjoy things together like i plan on.

Other than that, not much to say.
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do da busa buss [31 Jul 2008|01:03pm]
[ mood | pleased ]

It's been a good couple weeks.

I'm buying the second computer,...or rather, my mother is buying it for me and i'm making payments to her for it, since my credit was too bad for me to be able to buy it myself. This is a good thing. Now i can devote one computer to browsing/torrent downloading/tomfoolery, and one computer to simply being an artist. I've been thoroughly enjoying my time together with The GF. Try to keep my mind off much of the child, and future life stuff. We head up to otakon next weekend. I'm trying to find a better hotel room but looks like we may not be able to do it. Meh, as long as i can spend most of my time hanging with friends i don't care.

Roalee(GF) and myself slept together one night. It would have been much better if i would have had the proper pillows, but i still enjoyed it. Didn't get much sleep because of when we actually went. But that was ok for me. Probably will actually sleep more during the convention since we will be sharing a bed at the hotel. That will be for 4 nights. Can't wait for that.

|5 Posted //post comment

woa... [17 Jul 2008|11:41am]
It's been a long time since i've made an update. Can't believe it's been a month.

Well, the most significant thing that has happened in my life, is that i got a girlfriend. *hears world stop*
Yes that's right. I was kind of shocked at the general idea of it. However, it's a good shocked. The previous week and a half was like heaven for me. It's been such a long time since i was this content with life. We saw each other the Wednesday before the july 4th fireworks show, which we went to together. Then hung out that weekend, 3 days of the next week, the weekend again, and then watched pulp fiction together yesterday evening. I'm trying to be optimistic and enjoy things as they are. I have to admit however, there is a skeptical side of me that thinks things won't be this way for long. I personally don't believe anything will change from my perspective or standpoint on the relationship, But i do think she will get a little tired of me after a while, and our time together will be cut. I tried to hint at it last night to see exactly what her thoughts on things were and she pretty much had the same well...i'll say suspicions that i have about it. However as long as i can be around her i'll simply enjoy it. When the time comes that she doesn't want me around as much i'll just have to deal with it.

My finances however are a different story right now. I'm still going to otakon, but my roomie has put me in a crappy situation. I can't really totally blame him for it though, because in hindsight, i should have known better and just been saving up the money that i needed for the bills. What i mean is, From the time i moved in with him back in....crap i don't remember. But since we've been living together, he has never taken any utility money from me. The few times i've said anything, it's just been, "We will take care of it eventually." Of course, it would have been better to take care of it while it was small. Now it's big and i owe him like, 400 dollars for all the bills. It would have been more, but he hadn't been paying me for the bills he owed me either. I've made sure the problem doesn't continue by saving my half of bills even when he doesn't ask, and getting half of the bills put in my name (water and sewage). But now i have a large sum i owe and can't do anything about. Oddly though, it doesn't matter much to me. When i was single and alone this would have pissed me off a bit. But as for right now, it's just something that needs to be done. I'll probably just not actually buy much at otakon and give him the money from there. Push come to shove by october i will have him paid up, but still, it would have been better if it could have been small sums instead of the large sum.
|10 Posted //post comment

[10 Jun 2008|10:50am]
AH yes. i remember having a livejournal.

I have a set position, it's not horrible. Been making plans to go back to school in the fall for my associates. Haven't decided what in yet though. Either graphic arts or computer engineering. Speaking of Computers, i've got a few of the parts for my dream computer. Bought a motherboard, case and power supply. They all cost about 400 dollars together. Just need to buy a processor, Ram, and a video card. That will all cost me another 400. But it will be worth it to use photoshop again. I drew a rukia picture last weekend. The weekend before that i went to AKON in dallas. Was a pretty cool convention. But i realized from being there that i'm getting older and the fans seem to be getting younger. I'll go to otakon in a few months too. We'll see how that turns out. Trying to date here in seattle. Too bad i'm failing miserably. Sometimes i hate my life.

and that is all.
|2 Posted //post comment

I've put it everywhere. [13 Mar 2008|03:21pm]
I Saw love today. Some real love. As i'm walking to mcdonalds during lunch break, i hear music. i get up to the Mcdonald hut and i see a bum/artist guy playing his guitar. I guess he's an aspiring guy trying to make it. What really got me though, was the fact that he had his Girlfriend with him. She was sitting right next to him as he was playing for change. I personally thought that was such a wonderful display of devotion. Sure, it may be that she was just lazy and didn't want to get a job. But even so, at the very least he has someone willing to sit out in the cold with him. Someone who cares about him so much she's willing to endure that stuff with him. it kind of makes me jealous. I mean, i work hard and have a roof and steady income for food. But he has nothing, and yet everything i want. Sure it's not that i want to be a bum, but the love would be nice.
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Moo [01 Mar 2008|04:12pm]
So i won't have interwebs for a few days. Not that any of you read this and will know.

I'm moving and going to get FIOS so it's great. But not until like friday of the first week march.
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Of water and darkness. [26 Feb 2008|08:55am]
[ mood | depressed ]

I'm always reminded of it in the strangest ways. But at the same time, i also become painfully aware that I'm used to it. It's not something that i particularly enjoy. It's just something that's been in my life so long in so many different aspects. Be it outwardly physical or be it metaphorically with my living situation or mindset. What i'm referring to is darkness. It always seems like I'm just in darkness. I know that light exists, and i know that the world is full of it. However, it always seems that my life is a constant condition of darkness and dealing with it. And dealt with it i have. You really find out so much about yourself with nothing but the darkness to comfort you. You have nothing but your own imagination to help you get through things. So you can find out just how far the limits of your imagination can go. You can see your interests and desires and think about what they mean to you. It's actually rather nice in some ways. But mostly, it's cold. It's cold and it's dark. I don't mean temperature wise that it's cold. But rather it's emotionless. I see all these people doing all these things in their life and can't help but say, "i wish i could be like them." It's frustrating to me that i can't just be me and have it be fine. I used to think like that. I used to think, "Well i'm just going to be me and i don't care about what the outcome is." However, i've found that it may indeed be a lie. I may indeed care about what the outcome is. In fact i can honestly say i do care. Because i care, I have to adjust what being me is. The years of constant depression and loneliness have only really made me doubt my participation in the world. It's like, i'm that soul less creature you pass by on your way to the main boss that only rewards 1 point of experience if you fight. To me, that one point of experience is all i have and is important to me. But for you, it means nothing. I have no significance at all. I'm just another of the many that could be cared less about.

|2 Posted //post comment

DUUUUUDE!!! [24 Jan 2008|08:59am]


Yes that's right....STAR OCEAN 4!

I reeeeeeally hope the battle system is Mostly similar to how the previous games battle system is, because that games system was god. And the multiple endings would be nice to have again too. With the PS3 being so powerful, i can't wait to see what they do with this game.

Oh and some Final fantasy 13 game has trailers out too. :p
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meme thingy [13 Jan 2008|07:31pm]
01) Write 20 things you wish you could say to people, but never will. Or maybe you will?
02) Don't say who they are.
03) Never discuss it again.(big maybe on that one lol)

1.Must be nice abandoning people. You probably feel proud of yourself eh?

2.You are a drama queen, grow some balls you midget.

3.Wish i could have been in your life.

4.If i'm lucky, maybe one day i'll mean something to you.

5.You have to accept what society is if you want to live in it. If you don't, stop complaining and just become a hermit.

6. When did i ever ask for your or anyone's help for that matter?

7. I made a promise to you, and you made one to me. Lets look and see who is still keeping their promise.

8. If i want something, i know how to ask for it. Don't make assumptions about my life based on things i haven't told you.

9. When you do find out what you want send me an email. The sky will probably fall that same day and i want some warning.

10. There isn't a single person who can tell me something about my life that i don't already know.

12. It's cool if we aren't in a relationship, but at least talk to me from time to time.

13. I'd move to the moon if it meant i could be with you.

14. I really don't want to hear about how he doesn't treat you like you want. That's no one's fault but yours. LEAVE HIM.

15. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I realize how much you have sacrificed for me, and all i can say is i'm sorry.

16. i wonder where would i be now, if i would have been the one who had sex with you?

17. You are more important to me than you probably realize

18. I've always wondered, ...why did you do it?

19. Do girls like you always pass up something good that you like for something bad that you like? Knowing that the bad thing will bring you tears in the end?

20. I wish i could have stopped you from leaving that morning. It may not have changed anything. But at least i would have seen you a bit longer.
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For the new year. [07 Jan 2008|11:52am]
I've decided instead of constantly telling the things i feel in my life, I will use this journal more for me. What that means, is more for a constant reminder of where i am with what current art project or school project or work experience. This decision is mostly because i just don't get what i'm looking for in friendships from Lj as much as i try. I'm not blaming any of you. this is not a "it's all you guys' fault" post. i just find that this will help me more.

Current sketch project: Felicia and Lei lei from darkstalkers. Body poses done. Need to apply faces.

Current photoshop project: Terra sketch from before my computer crashed. Need to decide eye color. Probably going to go with a deep violet.


Today am going to look into how much the self help cd's cost to devote at least 2 days out of the 5 day work week to studying it. Then will enroll in school with Japanese as an elective.

Read more...Collapse )
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A reminder for myself. [28 Dec 2007|10:59am]
Whiped out.... down the stairs. I'll bet you,.. there's a song in there.
Not sure i'm prepared...to write it down.
|2 Posted //post comment

[20 Dec 2007|09:13am]
[ mood | depressed ]

What to write about.

My life right now is, in an odd place.

I thought with me getting out of debt and developing a plan for my future that things would begin to get better for me. But no matter how much closer i get to my goal, i don't find any extra happiness because of it. Not just extra, any happiness at all. Sure, it's satisfying knowing that that i don't have to worry about using my money for paying collectors and what not. But i still have to use my money for other things. Even if i didn't have any bills to pay and was able to keep my money, i don't associate money with happiness, so i just can't feel the joy. Even with all my life plans, i've still got nothing at all inside. I think that's probably what hurts me the most. Seattle has no snow. This sucks. I want to be covered in the stuff. Roomate left to see his family for christmas. I can't say i'm unhappy about not seeing my family. Sure i love them, but it's just never been a "closer than family" connection with most all of them. My dreams still continue. I guess that's a good thing. Double edged sword though, because then i have to come back to reality where life sucks. Where rules and standards make me a weirdo or crazy. I wish i could just be me in so many ways.

Oh and I bought a PS3 if anyone else has one. My user name is akaidono. I love being able to play PS1 games on my PSP.

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